Female Masturbation & You
What You Can Learn From How She Touches Herself
Masturbation isn’t just an important part of a healthy female’s sexuality - it’s also a great way for you to learn how to push her buttons.
Although the overwhelming majority of women masturbate, very few are willing to discuss their preferences and techniques openly (We’re sure you can sympathize). However, once again we’ve saved your ass by doing the research and collecting some frank and revealing confessions from real women.
We can’t possibly cover every method and technique in this short article, but you’ll definitely pick up a few tips from these ladies. So pay attention!
She needs to relax and unwind
A stressed, busy mind will make an orgasm nearly impossible for her.
Many women like to take a long, hot bath to get in the mood for their solo session. A glass of wine, soft music, scented candles (cliché, but still nice), and low lighting also help to erase the worries of the day.
Only when her mind (and body) is calm and relaxed can she move on to more sensual subjects.
- Relaxation is key! She won’t have an orgasm without it.
- Clear her mind. The reason hotel sex is so great (besides the change of venue) is because there are no screaming kids, dirty dishes, or reminders of household chores left undone. Help her clear something off her to-do list. It’ll make a difference.
- Ambiance matters. Low lighting and a comfortable, private setting will help her relax and get in a sensual mood.
- Sexual scents. Certain smells have been proven to increase relaxation and female arousal. Break out the cucumber ice water and lavender scented candles!
- Booze is essential to relaxing her and lowering her inhibitions. Ok we’re just kidding on that one…Mostly.
She uses the sexiest part of her body – her brain
She probably won’t be breaking out a copy of Backdoor Sluts 9 to get in the mood.
Unlike men, who can get fully aroused from an exercise video (we have proof, don’t ask), women typically prefer fantasies and emotionally charged thoughts to visual and physical stimulation. That’s not to say that all women don’t enjoy porn because plenty do, but she’ll most likely prefer some erotic reading or her own dirty imagination.
- She needs mental stimulation as well as physical. Make her think about sex. Drop a few hints in the morning and send her a few sexy text messages to stir her curiosity and ensure that she’s titillated all day. Discuss her fantasies. Learn how to talk dirty.
She warms up slowly
As she fantasizes, she’ll move her hands down her body – touching the erogenous zones such as her breasts, stomach and inner thighs. Half of her pleasure is derived from building anticipation and delaying her complete satisfaction until the last possible minute.
- Take your time and build up slowly. Spend time on her erogenous zones. Tease her inner thighs. Don’t go anywhere near her clitoris until she’s thrusting her hips toward you.
Bump and grind
“I cross my legs, thrust my pelvis against a soft object (a pillow is best) and fantasize. This is the tried and true way. I do enjoy touching myself, but it's just not as good as this. I really move very little; only when ready for orgasm do I get into any real action.”
"I use a towel rolled up and rub myself against it in an up and down motion. I never use my hands. This method seems to arouse some sensations that the hand cannot reach."
- Vaginal penetration and fancy fingers be damned. Sometimes it's best to give her the reins and let her grind on your motionless fingers (or flat, still tongue).
(Not) touching the clitoris
“I usually masturbate by gentle stroking of the clitoral region, not the clitoris directly, but on the skin above and around it; then I place the fingers around the clitoris and move them back and forth rhythmically and with a bit of pressure. Thus, to achieve orgasm, pressure is one factor, rhythmic movement another, and protection of the clitoris from direct stimulation is another. This last one is achieved by using the surrounding skin to stimulate the clitoris. My legs are apart. I don't move very much.”
“Wow! What a question! Usually I lie on my back, my legs apart. I almost always have my panties on, as rubbing the clitoris itself directly is just annoying. I use one hand, two fingers together, rubbing up and down in short, quick strokes right over my clitoris. As I get closer to climax, my legs tend to spread apart and my pelvis tilts up more. I don’t move around too much, but sometimes during climax I roll from side to side.”
- Touch her through her underwear. Touching her through her panties can be a great way to warm her up. The indirect stimulation is a great place to start, and there’s something sexy about having a tantalizing barrier between her flesh and yours.
- Use the clitoral hood to stimulate her. The clitoral hood is a fold of skin that covers both sides of her clitoris. Often, the friction of rubbing the sides or top of the hood will be more pleasurable than touching the clitoris directly. Check out the How to Touch Her Clitoris guide for some tips on how to do this.
- It’s all about rhythm. Steady rhythm and steady pressure are the keys to her orgasm. Not faster, not harder, just steady.
The trusty vibrator
"I use the curved plastic back, not the pad, of a small vibrator. I prefer this because I very seldom have long periods of time alone to use the manual methods, which I find to slow and not as interesting and more fatiguing. I use it pretty exclusively against my clitoris and vaginal lips. I like my legs together. That way, with my ankles crossed, I can use my legs to control the amount of contact with the vibrator. Sometimes I move a great deal, sometimes very little. The more aroused, the more movement."
- Vibrator power. Vibrators save time and practically guarantee her an orgasm. Don’t rely on them, but don’t be afraid of them either.
Adding penetration
"My legs are apart, my middle finger is inserted deep into the vagina, with the palm of my hand making a circular motion over my clitoris."
"I hold my hand palm flat on the clitoral area, and fingers inserted into my vagina about one inch or so, and just massage gently."
- Vaginal penetration can add the extra sensation to push her over the top - but it's best when combined with clitoral stimulation.
Personalize it
Even though you learned some valuable lessons from the above anecdotes, nothing beats a personalized lesson from your particular lady. Convince her to please herself in front of you, or, better yet, have her guide your fingers.
Nobody knows her body like she does. Don't be afraid to ask for a lesson.
* All quotes are courtesy of The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality By Shere Hite
